Bwah-haha. We love bitchy links about celebrities here at Cinecultist. A few good ones this week:
Choire Sicha points us to this Arnold Schwarzenegger classic.
"I play terminator, but you guys are the true terminators," Arnold told the troops on Independence Day.
Is this actually Jenny Lo's bod on the cover of the most recent Esquire? The folks at Gothamist and their readers weigh in.
Gawker reads Liz Smith for us, so we don't have to. Liz on her "Feed the Celebrites campaign" (a worthy cause that Cinecultist also works for) "Unless he is dieting for a role as a prisoner of war, or a hospital patient in bad shape, somebody - please feed Bruce Willis! He's thinner than we've ever seen him. Down to sinew and bone."
Now back to our regularly scheduled gossip-free little lives.
How excited are we about Dogville? Nicole Kidman and Dogma 95 terrible Lars von Trier in a film inspired by 70's televised theatre? A supporting cast to wet one's pants over? A shut out at Cannes? Yes, yes, and yes! Glory be the light of Nicole Kidman, C3 wants to build a time machine and fly to the future, to the currently undecided release of Dogville.
The film is about a woman, Grace (Nicole), on the run from the mob. She lands in Dogville, a small town in Colorado, where she's accepted by the townsfolk at first, only to suffer horrible consequences when they betray her. Hmm..woman under duress, backstabbings, death--could this be a von Trier movie?
While CCC (and the rest of the world, nay, the universe) waits for Dogville to come out, here are some essential films to watch from the N.K. oeuvre:
Dead Calm Nicole plays Rae, a woman recovering from the death of her son by taking a boat trip with her husband, Sam Neil. They're soon caught in a web of death and lies when sexy Billy Zane comes on board. Sexily directed by Phillip Noyce, of aboriginal Rabbit-Proof Fence fame (along with some other crap no one cares about). This one launched her career. Well, not really, but we can all sexily pretend it did.
To Die For Back when Gus Van Sant was still good (or before he had to work to be good again), he made this nasty little piece of work, wherein Nicole plays Suzanne Stone Maretto (though Stone is still her professional name). Mme. Stone will do anything to rise to the top, even if it means bedding both Matt Dillon and Joaquin Phoenix. Yowza.
The Portrait of a Lady Jane Campion's entry into the "How many Henry James novels can we make into movies?" competition (56 adaptations of various ones, says Imdb), this blue and black movie has Nicole playing Isabel Archer, an American heiress that runs into trouble, and John Malkovich, on the Continent. Slightly snoozey in CCC's opinion, it's such a beautiful looking film that micro-sleeps are an acceptable punishment for watching.
Moulin Rouge! If you haven't seen Moulin Rouge! yet, CCC may very well have to hunt you down and bitch slap you.
The Hours Nicole won by more than a nose, and proved herself a lasting actress in the almost-as-good-as-the-book adaptation of Michael Cunningham's marvelous novel. We could watch her eyebrows furrow for...hours.
Not only are those great, but C3 has high high high hopes for other upcoming Kidman releases. The Human Stain (how the hell was this adapted?), Cold Mountain (battle of the Oscar all stars!), and, ahem, Untitled Alexander the Great Project (bisexual conqueror fun for everyone). Don't let us down, Nicky. Please.
Aussie director Scott Roberts' new caper film The Hard Word had several intriguing elements for PCC, the burgeoning Down Under-phile:
1. Six Feet Under's (among other admirable projects) Rachel Griffiths. The woman is amazing, playing everythng from an American housewife (The Rookie) to a British prostitute (My Son the Fanatic).
2. Guy Pearce. It is rare that PCC is able to forgive an actor for such an abysmal starring role as Guy's in The Time Machine, but Mr. Pearce has been absolved. If you haven't seen him in Memento, please stop reading and slink off to your local video store (or Netflix rental queue) and procure Christopher Nolan's amazing film.
3. The promise of an intelligent (Australian!) crime film that (hopefully) would not dissolve into a long, drawn-out shoot 'em up fiasco with elaborate, yet strangely unoriginal, car chases.
That said, Roberts' film delivers admirably. The story centers around three Australian brothers- Dale "the smart one" (Pearce), Mal(com) "the good one" (Damien Richardson) and Shane "the fuck-up" (Joel Edgerton)- all of whom happen to be bank robbers. Griffiths plays Carol, Dale's allegedly two-timing wife. We follow the boys from prison through a series of heists, ending in a surprisingly satisfying climax. The film is conscious of the fact that it needs to rise above your basic stick 'em up bank robber flick, and it does so by not only adding depth to the main characters, down to the most minute detail of the brothers' individual prison duties, but also by adding another layer of suspense in the form of a corrupt lawyer and dirty cops who are trying to cheat the boys out of the money they've stolen. There's an element of Bonnie and Clyde here in the way the brothers elicit our sympathy even as they knock off banks, horse races and airplane hangers. We root for them, not because they're noble Robin Hood-protegees, but rather because, through Roberts' skilled direction, we see them as real people, with personality quirks and tangled love lives. And how can you not root for three Australian brothers who might be more like you than you think?
Yesterday, in a burst of pre-Independence Day weekend consumerist patriotism, Cinecultist doned the pink flip flops to catch an evening screening of Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde. CC had been really looking forward to watching Ms. Woods go to Washington, partially because the sequel title is just too much fun and because we liked the fluffy escapism of the first. Sadly, though the second movie was more Sweet Home Alabama-ish than Election-esque.
The first section, where the very charming Reese Witherspoon must come upon obstacles even though she's a perfect flurry of good-natured activity, worked very hard to be clever but didn't flow together in an "organic" way. Each bit seemed merely tacked on, and not in the goofy, illogical Elle sort of way that you'd expect. CC would follow certain members of the cast through any number of bad pictures, like Jennifer Coolidge, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Reese, and even Sally Field and Regina King have had their really stellar roles. But here, no one seemed like they had enough screen time to really satisfy. All in all the attention to detail that was so delightful in the first film, down to Elle's just so hairdoes and outrageous clothes, didn't seem to be a priority this time around. There were even moments where, godforbid, the blonde looked like a wig. *Gasp*
As is our wont when we can't recommend the picture in the theaters, let us guide you instead to some older works by Reese available on DVD. Freeway, a neo-Red Ridinghood story with Keifer Sutherland is fab. Also Man in the Moon, her film debut is just so delightful as Reese discovers her hormones with the help of one of the London brothers. And you can't go wrong with Pleasantville, as Tobey Maguire and Reese get trapped in an earnest '50s TV world along with hunky-dumb Paul Walker.
Happy Fouth of July, cinecultists! May your A/C be on full blast and your hot dogs not burnt too much on the grille.
Bon jour! Allow us to introduce ourselves (my precious), we are Crizazy Cinecultist, the celebrity obsessed, hotness-seeking prong of this Cinecultist trident of power and might. CCC is here to tell you about Swimming Pool--hence our use of ye old French. The newest film from genre-hopping Gaul Francois Ozon, this film stars Charlotte Rampling as popular murder mystery authoress Sarah Morton, vacationing in France to help her relax and let the words flow. She stays at her publisher's house, a peaceful haven of quiet soon disrupted by John's daughter, the luscious Ludivine Sagnier(happy birthday, Luddy! You, too, Tom Cruise). Sagnier's Julie is the Oscar to Rampling's supposed Felix--having sex with different men at all hours, leaving wine and cheese out (the horror!), and incessantly listening to loud French techno. Just like Oscar. Lest we reveal too much, C3 shall cut this short. There's a little murder, a little dancing, and a little lesbian undertoning going on.
The clever thing about Swimming Pool is that it takes the familiar convention of making a movie about making a movie that reflects the movie being made, and spins it by making a movie about writing a book that reflects the movie being made. Also, since CCC is pathetic and thinks all movies are about voyeurism (ahem) in a Rear Window sort of way, we could see a little something something of that going on in this film.
A word about the actresses: We think we're in love with Charlotte Rampling. She has that Isabelle Huppert quality about her, a fierce intelligence and dangerous sexuality that makes it exciting to see her play someone that sneaks a few drinks and flashes her breasts to distract people.
Speaking of flashing breasts, CCC was dumbfounded by Sagnier. Girl done gone and growed up since 8 Women. The French do like their topless sunbathing, and Ms. Divine participates in that tradition with wild abandon. It's a little disconcerting, though, to see this young woman, with her golden locks and short skirts, occasionally allow glimmers of her coltish youth to shine through. Her face still has a teenaged quality about it (she's 24) that throws one off when we've been seeing her smoking and drinking and sexing it up. She does hold her own against Rampling, however, and the two actresses are entrancing in their roles.
The end of the film is a nice little mind-bender that doesn't ring too false, though CCC wonders if the puzzle it brings up can ever be completed. We will, however, be third in line for Ozon's just completed (and hopefully feature length) film, 5x2.
Tonight Cinecultist took the long train with the sweaty rush hour hordes up to Lincoln Center's Walter Reede Theater to meet the darling W for one of the Heroic Grace movies. CC loves to watch girls kicking ass and she trusts the choices usually made by W, who's taste includes hotness like Tony Leung. Except, W forgot to mention that tonight's feature, The Six Fingered Lord of the Lute Part 1, had no English subtitles. Seeing that CC speaks no Cantonese, it was slightly difficult to follow even with a handy synopsis by Berenice Reynaud provided by the Film Society.
You know it's not going to be simple when the historian describes part of the plot as "a McGuffin" (a technique employed often by Hitchcock to throw the audience off the story). She also writes, "The protagonists are endlessly traveling, fighting their foes at crossroads, spending the night in sinisters inns, arriving uninvited at the mansion of other evil clans, jumping in the air or through windows, are ambushed, drugged, challenged to duels, and even killed." Yeah, all that good stuff is in there, in between long stretches of arguing and exposition. In Cantonese. Damn my lack of Asian languages! I did like the scene where two girls fight on a tower's overhangs, jumping through windows and attacking each other with a long chain. Ouch.
CC's set to see another film in the series, Wong Kar-Wai's Ashes of Time on Friday. This time with subtitles, hopefully, and a little Tony, Maggie Cheung and Brigitte Lin goodness. Will report back.
As a slightly related aside, if CC was so inclined to actually make movies with girls flying through windows instead of just critiquing them, we could use the handy DIY special effects step by step supplied by this month's the Independent. Friend to CC and small furry animals, Greg Gilpatrick breaks it down and though we still don't think we could do it but it's nice to know it's possible. Cool.
Tomorrow marks the return of another beloved sci-fi franchise. No, not Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or the Matrix, yes, teenage boys around the world rejoice as Terminator 3: the Rise of the Machines hits theaters. Looking at that short list, and contemplating the barrage of sequels in the theaters thus far this summer and still to come, making a new Terminator movie sounds like a good idea for the Hollywood money guys. But as A.O. Scott points out in his review today, the machinic dystopian age peddled by the T movies is sort of out moded. Been there, seen it, done it, bought the t-shirt.
Back in the day (aka '98), Cinecultist studied the Terminator, a film we'd never thought twice about, in the context of a feminist film studies course, how Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger represent different gender modes. When the film came out in 1984, or even in 1991 at the sequel, the idea that a woman could be pumped up protecting her son with the help of a machine man was completely innovative and exciting. But now, to see Claire Daines running around with Nick Stahl in fear, how is that any different from the Hulk or any other movie in theaters this summer? Or even the female Terminator, a tough chick in red leather and just so hair, she's such a millenium cliche. Ho hum.
But then again, who wants to innovate when you can just add to the already bloated grosses of the previous films. From the horses mouth --
"Terminator 3" has the same combination of big explosions, blasting guns, sci fi special effects and Schwarzenegger utterances that made the first two films huge hits. "I don't think the audiences' tastes have changed that much," said Vajna. According to the Reuters story about the collaboration between the producers.
PCC likes the Stahl but CC will be avoiding this flick for fear of adding to the hearing loss already suffered from the other noisy movies we've watched lately like 2Fast and Hulk.
The official site is good for a laugh and which clicks, whizzes and generally makes all sort of futuristic noises as you search.
Perhaps one of the reasons that Cinecultist loved Katharine Hepburn is that she had the best choice ever -- Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart? If not in real life, where she actually chose Spencer Tracy, then in the magic fictional world of the Philadelphia Story. It's like trying to choose between chocolate and more chocolate, it is an impossible choice. Actually CC thinks it says a lot about a person whom they think Tracy Lord should be with in the end, the stubborn working class journalist who she sparks with or her dilettante ex-husband childhood soul mate. The familiar or the unknown, which would equal more happiness for the heiress with a heart of gold?
Hepburn's iconic performances gave us the opportunity to ponder these questions about ourselves and our life choices. She also made us laugh at her brilliantly executed pratfalls and cry with her heart-renching delivery. As a devote of the romantic comedy, in particular the screwball variety, CC's mind naturally gravitates towards her comic roles when thinking of Hepburn's career. She personified the screwball heiress, a woman too clueless for words but too charming to resist. Stanley Cavell in Pursuits of Happiness, talks about how in the case of certain actors the camera could create types from individuals, or individualities. Their "mannerisms and eccentricities so satisfied the appetitie of the movie camera" that their "distinctness was the staple of impersonators." Hepburn had a style all her own, even if her physicality could be imitated, one of independence and integrity which shone through her characters like a beautiful inner beacon. Watching her act, we couldn't help but be on her side and identifying with her at every turn. To know she is gone from us now, is to truly feel like a part of us is lost, she so captured the imagination.
Turner Classic Movies will air a tribute on July 10th of Hepburn's movies. Be sure to check out at least a few of them, they are the kind of films that enrich your whole person.
Schedule for July 10th:
6:00 AM Mary of Scotland ('36)
8:15 AM Holiday ('38)
10:00 AM Woman of the Year ('42)
12:00 PM Adam's Rib ('49)
2:00 PM Pat and Mike ('52)
4:00 PM The Lion in Winter ('68)
6:30 PM Katharine Hepburn: All About Me
8:00 PM Bringing Up Baby ('38)
10:00 PM The Philadelphia Story ('40)
12:00 AM Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? ('67)
2:00 AM Little Women ('33)
4:00 AM Undercurrent ('46)
Screen legend and sassy woman inspiration to us all, Katharine Hepburn died today at the age of 96. Check out Caryn James's lovely obit while we collect our thoughts, dry our eyes and think of the best things to say about this favorite actor. Gregory Peck and now Hepburn, it's been a sad summer for cinephiles.
Perhaps Cinecultist's (pretty negligible) testosterone got in the way of critical distance but CC really enjoyed Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. We don't usually do this -- as we prize ourselves on our far-thinking independent opinions 'round here -- but we checked in with the critic roundup on Rotten Tomatoes to see if the rest of the lads agreed. They found it to be 41% rotten so far. Hmmm.
We're talking about such statements as "what the picture represents, in a very real way, is the death of cinema." according to Walter Chaw of Film Freak Central and "the worst movie of the year" according to Chuck Schwartz of Cranky Critic. Who are these people? People with computers and opinions, that's about all CC can tell from a bit of cursory web research. However, even Elvis Mitchell at the Times says, "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle is like eating a bowl of Honeycomb drenched in Red Bull -- a dizzying mouthful of unabashed silliness that leads to an equally precipitous crash once the buzz wears off after the film's first hour." Double hmmm.
Here's the thing -- CC liked it despite being outside the movie's projected commercial demographic. The girls are cute, they kick ass, there's lots of highly stylized camera work (McG HEART slo-mo), a pounding pop soundtrack (including that Pink single, "Feel Good Time" that we downloaded when we got home) and various campy villains. Sometimes, it is okay to like insubstantial crap. It's not going to change the face of cinema or result in any sort of apocalypse if every movie we watch, especially in the summer, isn't particularly mentally challenging. With that said, CC plans to watch Friday Night and Dragon Inn this week, just to balance out the lost brain cells.